Friday's letters

Dear Direct TV signal, Eff you, honestly! You go out every single time it rains even just a little bit! I can't wait until our contract is up. Then you're fired. It's really a shame that we're too cheap to cough up some dough and get out of our contract early ala Katie/Kate Holmes! Dear manager on my team, Thanks for telling me to be sure to take advantage of today's summer hours since my boss and boss' boss are on vacation and weren't there to tell me to do so. Pretty sure I was leaving at noon regardless but I do appreciate the sentiment. Dear Target worker, Is it really a rule that once something leaves the building, it can't be brought back in if someone leaves it in a cart? CC Jennifer to please confirm or deny this claim. My lovely and honest husband lugged in a case of water someone left on the bottom of their cart in the parking lot. You told him that once something leaves the building, you can't take it back for someone to come back and get it once they realize they forgot it. And also, thanks for repeatedly telling lovely husband that 'this conversation never happened' and that he could take the water or it would be thrown away. Score one $4 package of water for the Meyers! Dear food, wine and other alcoholic beverages, Why must you be so tasty and encourage me to eat or drink you when I am desperately trying to lose this baby weight? Dear Aubrey O'Day, Remind me again of why I decided to follow you on Instagram? In all honesty, you seem like kind of a whoooree. But I can't bring myself to unfollow you. Train wreck. Dear people on this, my inaugural, Friday's letters link up, WOW there are a lot of you! I really want to try to check out all of your blogs but I cannot guarantee this will happen. Which leads me to... Dear in-laws, Sorry we did not come to your house for our nice, relaxing long weekend like we did in our pre-baby years. It turns out that traveling with an infant isn't really that nice or relaxing. But thanks for telling us that you're now coming to stay with us this weekend to make up for our absence. We truly cannot get enough of your advice and constructive criticism of our parenting skills! And now we really won't have time to sit around and blog surf. XOXO April