Reason #792...

... why I shouldn't be allowed to curl my own hair. That is all.

Jessica the mess-ica

Earth to Jessica Simpson... You are a wreck, woman. Jessica had the BEST style (circa 2003-2005). However now I wonder if cuteness Nick was dressing her the entire time! I know she hasn't been recording music or acting but her clothing/shoes/accessories business in booming so she has NO excuse not to have a stylist (or to keep the crap-tastic one she currently has).

I will be honest here. She is short, I think 5'1. I am 5'3. So, I understand how even five pounds can totally change the way you look or the way your clothes fit you. But SIZE UP one god damn! I would look horrendous if I tried to stuff my body into a size 0! Anyways, my honest opinion is that she probably does need to lose 10 lbs. and if she did, she'd look so much better in her clothes (or in her skin... hee hee).

I also come from the school of thought that if you show one, you cover up the other. She has great legs. If I were her, I'd be showing my legs all-the-time. And covering up that cleave. I don't think her boobs are even that big but she is always crushing and smooshing them up to the top of whatever she's wearing. I could go on for days but let's just take a look at the photographic evidence instead.

Here are a couple of shots from her recent shoot for Lucky magazine. BOTH of these looks are great on her. The belt is her friend. She has a small waist and should be belting whenever possible. Draw the eye to her small waist as opposed to her big ole' dirty pillows. 

This is the Jessica I miss >>>

And here are some dresses I think she could rock. Again my theme is covering up the fun bags and showing off the legs instead. And let's choose some Brian Atwood heels as opposed to these huge, spiky, cagey numbers she is always wearing. Most of the time her shoe choices are much too clunky and chunky.

I would hem this last one to make it shorter and also belt it with something colorful. Spanx is required on all of these and the cream one will NOT partake in any booby-smushing activities if it's to be worn. What else should Jessica do to regain her standing as a "fashionable" celebrity?

Sweaters and jeggings and boots - oh my!

I've been in denial that fall was here because we had kind of a sh***y summer here in MN. But now that I can no longer resist the call of big sweaters, skinny jeans and boots, BRING IT ON fall!

Today I ventured out to H&M in search of the elusive poncho that I've heard way too much about lately. I first read about it on my friend Kara's blog and quickly became OBSESSED. I planned to buy her one of each color and one of each color for myself. If they had a lot I planned to buy even more for some other friends I knew would just DIE for it. Nada. Nada in the whole state of MN and in the nation, so I was told.

I couldn't leave empty handed so I picked up four big sweaters. I am loving stripes and am still mad for plaid! Now I need more sweaters (obviously) and definitely need some new boots and a fall bag!

And here are some other things I NEED in my life asap!

Brazilian Blowout

Here are a couple of before and after pics from my Brazilian Blowout. I absolutely LOVE the results and can't imagine ever going back to my old hair. It's harder to tell with my hair straight but the biggest difference is the process and product. I used to have to wait and let my hair air dry before blow drying because it took so long and and use a straightening lotion and a ton of serum followed by the flat iron. Then I used serum again once it was dry. Now it takes me 1/2 the time to dry it and hardly any product at all. I just use a little bit of serum before blow drying. I am SO lucky that my stylist will do the Brazilian Blowout for me for just the product charge - $14!
Before

After

Before

After