30-38 who really knows anymore!

27, 28, 29

Shhh... it's a secret....

A cami secret! I am NOT usually one to purchase As Seen on TV items although I don't know why don't as they always seem like such awesome purchases.

Anyways, I was in desperate need of a cami secret as I have 2 new friends that I don't know what to do with and don't exactly feel comfortable flaunting at work or even out at the club. (Haha) I thought about making my own cami secret but realized I should just suck it up and take my $5 off coupon to Bed Bath and Beyond. 

I gotta give it a good review thus far! The only issue is that it clips on your bra but then kind of hangs like a bib. It would be nice if there was some additional kind of snap or something on the bottom so you wouldn't have to tuck it in or adjust it so it stays in place. I used my own safety pin today on one of the sides and that seemed to help.

I just wonder how this "maternity" dress is worn without one... Brad says it must be for slutty pregnant girls.

25, 26.... like whoa

22 and 24

20 and 21

Let me upgrade you...

Think Nick still feels bad that Jessica left him? Me thinky no!

More 18, 19...

Finally getting my WIG busted tomorrow! Good thing since the world is ending. Catch you on the flip side.

18 and I'm sick of myself

I truly want to blog about other things! Not that anyone reads this sh*t anyways. I am just too lazy right now. Someday. Someday.

Posting one pic is just too easy. So, here's week 18. And I've scheduled a hair appointment for next weekend so please cool your jets. I didn't purposely cut out my roots in this photo, I swear, but now I am glad that I did!

Dress is Love 21 from Forever 21.

16 and 17

Yea, I know I need to get my hair done!

My wish for a new closet

I'm pretty much banking on the fact that if I WANT something bad enough, the money parachute will drop down on my house sometime soon and I can turn one of our bedrooms into my dream closet! Brad and I have talked about it and he even got excited about it one day and mentioned the possibility of knocking out the wall in our current walk-in closet to open up to a bedroom that could be turned into a closet. Who knows if that would even be possible but... I need this in my life one way or another!

                                                   Mariah Carey's closet

I bet he'd love a closet like this, too!

Khloe Kardashian's shoe closet. I wouldn't line them up like this but that's beside the point.



Puffy shirt? 4.21.11

I'm 15 weeks today and still in "draft" mode on this blog. I haven't told my parents or a close friend yet so... until then, I'm basically still in "draft" mode in life.

Anyways! Earlier this week at work a woman that I work with came into the break room and straight up asked me... "SO, when are you due?" I was a stuttering, stammering mess. I had only told my boss and one other person who was leaving our company. There is NO way this woman had heard it through the grapevine. I said "Uhm... uh... how did you know that?" (Awkward conversation but it was all that would come out of my mouth). She said that she thought I was and then noticed that I had been wearing a lot more "puffy shirts." AM I the Jerry Seinfield of my office? Then that same day another person asked my boss! There is a chance that she heard it from someone but I truly don't think so.

I'm officially burning the F21 shirt I was wearing. I am finally out at work now since I was basically backed into a corner.

So, here's a little bit of progress. I promise to try to be cuter in the coming weeks. These were just pics for my stupid self.

6 weeks (holy bloating)

12 weeks

14 weeks. Mexico pic, taken in the morning. Seriously can't believe I looked like this in my bikini! LOL!

Today, 15 weeks. Decided to go ahead with it, no more "puffy" shirt. (Kept my blazer buttoned all day though!)

Jessica the mess-ica

Earth to Jessica Simpson... You are a wreck, woman. Jessica had the BEST style (circa 2003-2005). However now I wonder if cuteness Nick was dressing her the entire time! I know she hasn't been recording music or acting but her clothing/shoes/accessories business in booming so she has NO excuse not to have a stylist (or to keep the crap-tastic one she currently has).

I will be honest here. She is short, I think 5'1. I am 5'3. So, I understand how even five pounds can totally change the way you look or the way your clothes fit you. But SIZE UP one god damn! I would look horrendous if I tried to stuff my body into a size 0! Anyways, my honest opinion is that she probably does need to lose 10 lbs. and if she did, she'd look so much better in her clothes (or in her skin... hee hee).

I also come from the school of thought that if you show one, you cover up the other. She has great legs. If I were her, I'd be showing my legs all-the-time. And covering up that cleave. I don't think her boobs are even that big but she is always crushing and smooshing them up to the top of whatever she's wearing. I could go on for days but let's just take a look at the photographic evidence instead.

Here are a couple of shots from her recent shoot for Lucky magazine. BOTH of these looks are great on her. The belt is her friend. She has a small waist and should be belting whenever possible. Draw the eye to her small waist as opposed to her big ole' dirty pillows. 

This is the Jessica I miss >>>

And here are some dresses I think she could rock. Again my theme is covering up the fun bags and showing off the legs instead. And let's choose some Brian Atwood heels as opposed to these huge, spiky, cagey numbers she is always wearing. Most of the time her shoe choices are much too clunky and chunky.

I would hem this last one to make it shorter and also belt it with something colorful. Spanx is required on all of these and the cream one will NOT partake in any booby-smushing activities if it's to be worn. What else should Jessica do to regain her standing as a "fashionable" celebrity?